damn, im so sad

"Today was stupid, annoying and it sucked, I hate it...I hate all of it. I hate everyone around me. I really do."-MomHonestly, I've never felt so terrible in my life. The one time I come home and my mom actually hugs ME back, she says this. She was accepted to this BC secretary thing...and I really do wanna see her go there, but she loves to do people's hair. It may sound funny, I know. But whenever she's happy, I am...But now I feel like shit, you will never know how much it hurts! I WANNA HEAL I WANNA FEELWHAT I THOUGHT WAS NEVER REAL!I WANNA HEALI WANNA FEELLIKE IM CLOSE TO SOMETHING REALLOOKIN EVERYWHERE ...shit, she just can't find it. It's so sad. I feel horrible, I have never felt so depressed. Scratch that, maybe I have, when that dipshit of a friend dumped my best friend and ignored us. Maybe that was worse because he said shit that I just today also found out. BUT THIS REALLY TAKES THE CAKE!shit, im goin to angela's then to the fleet center to see the girls kick sum ass..bye

What's on TV? Hm, let's take a look, shall we?!

TUESDAY: AMERICAN IDOL (FOX 8 O'CLOCK) THERE ARE 2 CHOSEN TONIGHT! oH BoY! WEDNESDAY: CELEBRITY SURVIVOR! LAST PERSON IN AUSTRALIA @ 9 O'CLOCK! HELL YEAH, I HOPE IT'S THE GUY WHO GOT STUNG!NO SNOB WINS A MILLION MORE BUCKS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH :)K YA KNOW WHAT...I JUST DON'T WANNA READ THE TV GUIDE ANYMORE. LET'S SEE...oops sorry caps. went to aly t's today! we watched pochahontas and powder! powder is about an albino youth (didnt wanna say kid cuz i thought that would kinda sound mean when i finish the rest of the sentence-or when the rest of the sentence comes haha w.e.) and he has this electro magnetic power/force thing goin' on. and he is in an asylum and then ran out and the sheriff found him and they took him back to this place and analyzed him n stuff. whoah, long sentence... too too complex. i honestly dont feel like writing well today so sorry--even though many people do not read this. so then i left aly's @ around 5:30 and im home to stay, unless i go to the gym with angela and chelsea which i dont think i am cuz it's already 6:30 and i feelin like takin a showa now instead of lata. so, let's see no physics or math today (c, and e) god, do i hate math. not even gonna get into it. urgh, 510. mofo. ok well let's see here now, PEOPLE!! DOWNLOAD HEADSTRONG BY TRAPT!! SO CATCHY AND I LOVE TRAPT NOW! aha, whoah gtg someone wanna help me make a justin icon?? im not very good and i don know how to haha! that might just be the prob bob!

blue blue blue summer... I don't know the words

Ya know what I just saw? It said childrenofwar@helpkids.com and ya know what it was? A porn site! And I so wanna reply back and bitch @ them. I mean childrenofwar? How cruel is that?! They fucking lead you into thinking shit. I know this has happened so many times but this one just hit me like BAM! WTF IS THOSE WORDS DOING IN THERE! This probably doesn't make sense but I really couldn't give a fuck right now. That really ticked me off...I'll probably be talkin' about it all day. Hm, let's see what else? Hmmm...well Chelsea, Angela, and I are going to the gym around 11 or so. Although, I know Chelsea and Angela will not be ready by 11 because 1. They're too lazy and 2. Angela will be talking about ERRR w/ her mom before she leaves. Making her very vedy late. haha, g2 love 'em. Oh, well let's just see here now. Um, I have bruises on both knees, an indent on my wrist and a scratch on my face from falling off the stairmaster @ the gym yesterday. Hopefully, no1 saw that even though they were all basically looking @ me, so nevermind. It was pretty funny....It said push what level you want using the arrow keys but the arrow keys like shot up the level and then I pressed Enter. Stupid me. So the thing was goin' way 2 2 fast and I think it was on 15 or something, and I pushed Stop but it wouldn't fuckin' stop haha! So, I was slowing down and all of a sudden I trip and the thing is still going! Haha, so I fly off the stairmaster and feel so embarassed and then Chelsea comes over and was like "I shut it off for you, you dumbass!"Haha.. That was the highlight of my day!! But while we were there, I went on the stairmaster (for a couple seconds) The treadmill for about 10 mins...and then we went on the bikes for probably a total of 20 mins. I just realized that I ILY MY CALVE MUSCLES...did I really just say ILY MY CALVE MUSCLES...I must have massive assive problems, haha. Not that I didn't know or anything just makin' sure the whole Livejournal world knows. After the gym, we went back to Chelsea's house and watc---HOLD UP!Before this, we went to Blockbuster and rented Knockaround Guys (?) and Blue Crush. My mom came just as she was takin' the wave of her life, I was like NO! JESUS! And then when I get back to the car my mum's like, "You wanna go find out what happens?" And I was like dreadfull mum dreadfull... Did I really just say that 2? Haha Yeah so now back to what I was saying... After the gym and Blockbuster, we went back to Chelsea's house and watched the two movies. The Knockaround Guys was a really short movie, maybe an hour an a half. But it was good, but sad. About a Mafia plan and a bag of maybe half a mill. get's stolen or the guy dropped it for a second and the guys loaded it but then looked inside and they stole it. So yeah...that was sad, I can't really tell you much cuz it will take away the whole meaning, it wasn't a good movie, I thought. But then Blue Crush, I LOVED IT...the whole movie I was thinking of that guy and what movie he was in and finally when I was babysitting last night I was like LEGALLY BLONDE! It was just weirdness, but I wasn't even thinking about it untill I was drinking my water. Haha, watcher BLUE CRUSH...yeah. Last nite, 30 bucks, babysitting. I'll do it again, ya know . Haha, Mary goes to sleep @ like 8:30 and I watch TV for around 3 hours and I'm like hey, nice job I got here. Her mom wanted me to take her upstairs but she wouldn't lemme she was like crying and I felt bad and so I just left her on the couch and put a blankey over her. But then she really started whining and I was like O muh bejebus! O well... she was fine after 5 or 10 mins. of me holding her. I shoulda taken her upstairs earlier to get her pajami's on but she wouldn't lemme so her mom had to do it. I was like "Mary, I justc alled mommy and she wants you to put ur pajami's on :)" fake smile haha... and then she goes "NO, and goes back to sleep." So it was a little frustrating, but at least I got paid....fuckin Chels made 50 bucks in 2 hours, rich people, whew, wouldn't mind babysittin' for them cuz I hafta save up for the Justified and Stripped concert! Whooooooowhoo!!!Aight well we may play baseball or softball in the slow n rain today! May be fun haha! I'll write later on tonight or maybe even if we don't go to the gym depending on Chelsea cuz my mum can't drive me ...Oh, well I mine as well add that I am going. Hmm...to mu mum I mean., O bejebus!

hm, this is funny cuz i didnt order a newsletter or anythin

Hey everyone! Jess here with your brand new, top of the line, Reel Big Fish TheClub weekly newsletter! I hope this new month of March is treating you well!----Reel Big Fish is preparing to embark on another mini-tour around the West Coastarea. Be sure to check the tour dates page at http://www.reel-big-fish.com fordates/locations near you. In other news, the guys are very excited to be playingthe biggest ska event of the millenium, Ska Summit (http://www.skasummit.com) atthe end of this March!Also, be sure to check out the Monkey Man video, and request the song and videoto your local stations. If you haven't seen it yet, you can watch it athttp://www.reel-big-fish.co.uk, so get crackin!----SITE UPDATES:As you can probably tell, we're still having problems updating/changing some ofthe things on the team site. We're working on a supplement to the team page, tobe unveiled this summer, so watch out for that. Until we're able to fixeverything, please keep rockin out and waiting patiently. We apologize to thoseof you who want to trade in your tokens or request RBF videos; we're stillworking hard to get everything fixed!----ARE YOU GOING TO BE AT SKA SUMMIT??!?!If so, drop me an email here at theclubinfo@yahoo.com, so we can arrange to meetup! I want to meet as many of the people who have helped us come so far aspossible! I might even have a few surprises up my sleeve....If you can't make it to Summit, don't fret: there will be plenty of otheropportunities for fun and excitement! A big shout out goes to John Rawling, whoserved as our UK team rep at the recent shows over there. Thanks to those whotracked down our purple-haired friend. We hope you enjoyed the shows! I alsotend to be pretty mobile in attending RBF gigs across the US, so all hope is notlost yet. =)----Our next mission is one I'm looking forward to. As you know, we've beencollecting AIM icons for you to use when chatting online. Make sure you have oneof our icons loaded, because starting Monday, March 10, I'll be randomly im'ingteam members and if you have the icon loaded, you'll get 1000 bonus points! NOTE: Please do not IM JessAmazing hoping to score points. We have a specialteam screenname set up for the contest that will be used. To win points, we mustIM you. If you have discovered our team screenname and want to IM us, that'sgreat and I'd love to chat with you, but you won't earn points unless you areamong the random screennames chosen and have an icon, so please don't hekkle thepoint-givers! =) Please make sure that you are spreading the word about Reel Big Fish, forwardingthe link to http://www.reel-big-fish.com to everyone you know, leaving it inchatrooms and messageboards, forwarding the icons, and telling your friends allabout RBF and their mini-tour and Monkey Man!----Finally, I'd like to make this newsletter more interactive for you. From henceforth, I will include up to five pieces of music-related propaganda from thefans at the end of each newsletter. If you have a fansite, or just know of one that rocks, send it my way(theclubinfo@yahoo.com) and it might appear in this little section. If you're ina band, send me a link to your site or your sounds (or both) and it just mightbe sent to over 5,000 people! This is your chance to get the word out, so let mehear from you! ***THIS WEEK'S PROPAGANDA:***Since obviously no one has sent anything in yet, the following are myselections. =) http://www.rooney-band.com*Rooney, a five-piece rock band from California. They have the most unique soundI've ever heard, and draw influence from a number of bands including Weezer, TheBeatles, and The Cars. http://www.fazoomusic.com*If you're in a band and need cost-effective publicity and promotions, giveRebecca Usherwood at Fazoo a holler! An up and coming music promotion companybased out of Southern California, and quickly gaining momentum. Catch thesegirls at Ska Summit!http://quakercitystringband.com/*This is one group of people you HAVE to see! The Mummers put on an amazingperformance, and I highly recommend them to anyone in the greater Philadelphiaarea. http://www.audioandvisual.com/*A site devoted to all things audio and visual. Lots of awesome great livephotos, run by Kari Cansler. Check it out!http://www.suburbanlegends.com/main.shtml*Duh! Suburban Legends rock! They are also from California, and will also be atSka Summit! Check em out and give em a listen; you won't regret it, I promise! ----Well kids, that's all for now. This is your team leader, over and out. Catch yaright back here next week! Have a great month of March and keep fishin!--Jesstheclubinfo@yahoo.comP.S. I can't believe we're up to more than 5,000 members. You guys areINCREDIBLE!------------------------Reel Big Fish loves you!http://www.reel-big-fish.comIf you no longer wish to be a member of this or any other i-squad then clickthis linkhttp://i-squad.net/cgi-bin/reelbigfish.cgi?unsubscribe%3D1%26userid%3D%26artistname%3DReel%20Big%20Fish

Comment I posted

We watched something on the KKK last year, very sad. I couldn't stop crying when I got home. Mind you, I cry @ alot of things, but this struck me so hard. Watching these kids believe this shit, I mean there were those little families who thought they could rule the world by changing what people though. Watching that, just thinking of those insecurities made me feel so dull, low, and hurt.Racist people will never know how much it hurts untill one day when they get old, they will understand that they have certain limitations and they can't do what the younger people can. This makes them feel overwhelmed, scared, anxious to get out there. But then again, now they know what some people-excuse me ALOT OF PEOPLE have had to go through. I have been made fun of because in some ways I do believe in God and in some ways I don't. People ask me why I think this way and I say, "Hey, I'm only 14, what am I supposed to do? I mean I have to think untill I really do know what road to take, where to go, what to do." And if they have a problem with it, fuck them, I don't give a shit. If they have to keep thinking and joking about what I say to them about my RELIGION or THOUGHTS, then that is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard. One of my very good friends is black, and I couldn't give a shit because she respects me, thinks of me as her friend and not as a color, and loves me for who I am. I love to know that I have a friend like that. For all those other people, FUCK YOU. You're stupid shitaki's if you think to change someone's mind. You dumbfucks.

hmmm did...

hmmm didnt do much today...listened to muh justified and stripped album mix thing about o, a million or so times. i went to blockbuster to bring back the rookie and walking away. walking away was in friggin spanish. i was like mom, how did that happen? she laughed so hard. i almost pissed my pants. lol, sorry way too much information! ok well i think i will call chelsea soon and see if her and kristin r gonna go skatin tonight...ok shes on the fone with me now. lol, she says that shes goin but she has to call kristin n see if she can go. o i hope kristin can go i love kristin!!!!!! my homy wang dawg!!!!! big inside joke!steph, im so glad you posted those lyrics... :) made my day! ok er, well... kriti and courtney are coming ok er, well kristin and chelsea are coming ok er, well... i need my skate guards and if i say ok, er , well again i will hafta kick myself... :) i do wanna put this out there and i know it's guhna be a stretch for this person cuz it's weird but...katie, i dunno if you can even see this but im really sorry. ur a very smart person and i shouldnt be talking to your brother. i dont know why i even talk to him, im really sorry i ever got into anything with you cuz i know that ur way too smart for me. u dont hafta like me, im not askin that, im just tellin ya that im sorry. and i will stop talking to him and i know i said that before but i will. and if he IM's me ill just tell him why i wont talk to him, i figure it that it's just not fair for you and it makes things complicated and you shouldnt hafta even think about that. im really sry. im sped, waaay sped. well enough's enough for today, well i might write soon but that's k. hmmm...well i think i did a pretty good job of painting a lil corner in my room that says, 'don't be so quick to walk away!' ooooooo i wish he would stay--here--in my head--in boston--anywhere near here!!!!!!!!!! justin, i know people dont like him, ah w.e. ~i do! i do!~there's something wrong with my cell phone..i cant text message anyone. it's weird. aight well i think i wrote that i was gonna go a long time ago, bye.

went to mo...

went to movies last night with chels and sandra. sandra had two free tix so that was good. only, that was my third time seeing how to loose a guy in ten days. oo but how i love MATTHEW McCONOUGHEY --kate hudson and goldie hawn...whew aight well i am off to go skating tonight with chels and kristin. kristin hasnt skated in a while so this should be good cuz she thinks she will fall. now personally, i thought she was good @ tryouts so i dunno..im takin the camera! heha.mom took me n sandra out to lunch yesterday, i fell when i walked into the restaurant because my shoe wasnt tied. some sophy who i saw laughed @ me, and i flicked em off. that was funny timin.' also saw a sophy at the movies last nite...i think it was tammi but im not sure. shes kinda mean. o well, she was with a really short kid, and i was trying to see who it was but then they would think that im really weird (not that im not or anythin just ya know) because i was starin at them for so long. we were in the front row and it made me dizzy. my fone went off in the middle of the movie and the old people next to me gave me the evilest look i have ever seen, whew. courtney thinks we're alot alike, lol. but i dont think she's stubborn, i just think she's always right. i think she has a good head on her shoulders. thanks courtney!! 4got you read this lol.